Anxiety. It's kind of a heavy topic but a completely real one.
I’ve struggled off and on with anxiety throughout my life. These kinds of battles are rough, but I know that each of us is stronger than our demons. Stronger than our struggles.
Also, I know that anxiety disorders and all mental illnesses are REAL, and there is NO shame in seeking medical and/or therapeutic help, just as there is no shame or embarrassment in seeking help for any physical ailment.
With that being said, I want to share some amateur defenses I've developed to help combat anxious feelings—both overall and in-the-moment. They're not to heal or minimize your anxiety, but I hope some of them can help you become more resilient and cope, as they've helped me.
OVERALL DEFENSE
1. Find your triggers
Observe yourself and figure out if specific situations, places or circumstances trigger your anxiety, and then work on those. For me, I've learned that I can get anxious from conflict, getting sick, heights, and driving on the freeway. Random yet totally real. These are specific situations I've discovered to inflict extra stress and anxiety on me.
While it's nearly impossible and not very healthy to completely avoid our sensitivities and weaknesses, it's powerful to be mindful of them. If we are aware of what we are experiencing, we have much more control; we have the upper hand. We are able to understand that anxiety or stress is happening to us—it is not our identity.
When we are mindful and aware of our experiences and anxiety, we can better prepare for and cope with them, rather than get surprise-attacked and overwhelmed by them each time.
I also understand that some anxiety is more generalized and not triggered for specific reasons. These situations can be very difficult. It may be helpful to get familiar with and aware of your individual reactions and characteristics of anxiety so that you can be more in-tune with your mind and behavior.
2. Establish a routine
Creating a daily or weekly routine can help us be more productive and in control of our lives. Order and familiarity can also help us develop stability and strengthen our abilities.
A major weapon of anxiety is procrastination. I've found that making either daily and/or weekly to-do lists on the Notes app on my phone helps me feel organized and less overwhelmed by what I have to do. (I also get to cross off/delete things from my list, which is just the best feeling).
Finding ways that make you feel more confident and prepared for each day can help you feel more relaxed and courageous. Taking life one day at a time can open our eyes to the wonderful opportunities and blessings around us.
**ALSO, just because you establish a routine doesn't mean you need to plan every minute of your day. Leave room for spontaneity, growth and new experiences!
3. Find your outlet
Find an outlet–one that is not work-related, school-related, obligatory nor stressful. It can be an activity, sport, hobby, interest, project or even place you go to enjoy, recoup, create or relax.
I've found music, singing, playing the piano, dancing, yoga, movies, nature and date nights to be very therapeutic and re-energizing for me.
Try to find a time each week to do something or to go someplace you love. Even if it's for 30 minutes. Find time for yourself to release your ~bad energy~ and relish in your ~good energy~.
4. Treat yo'self
On a similar note, make sure you take care of yourself before you try and take care of everything (and everyone) else.
Take a break. Take a breather. It is totally okay.
Practice self-care by doing the little things like drinking water, eating enough greens, getting that Vitamin D, moving your body enough and getting enough sleep.
Check in with yourself and your health. Try to just set aside at least one minute a day where you do nothing.
No phone, no TV. Just breathe.
When you get all your work done, reward yourself. Whether it's a weekend of fun and relaxation or a movie night with friends and family, learn that it's okay to rest. We can't demand 100% of ourselves if we never recharge.
Ironically, I've found that when I give myself little breaks, I get more done and feel more accomplished.
5. Organic-yogi-guru stuff
I am a HUGE yoga and meditation advocate. I love essential oils and Trader Joe's. ~All that jazz~. I've found that it really rejuvenates and works for me.
If you're not on the yogi-train, hear me out for a bit. The science behind yoga and meditation is significant enough to try them each at least once.
Yoga is designed to help us become comfortable with the uncomfortable. We hold strenuous poses and sometimes uncomfortable stretches, all while aiming to turn off our stress responses and focus on our breath. Thus ~in theory,~ the more at ease and strong we get against physical discomfort, the more resilience we gain and the lower our natural stress response becomes.
Meditation is also highly beneficial, especially when done regularly. There's a free app called Headspace that provides guided meditations for beginners. It can help us sort out, ease and rationalize the different emotions and experiences of our days. It can help us develop a higher sense of gratitude and be more mindful of the world and others around us.
IN-THE-MOMENT DEFENSES
1. Separate your senses
Sometimes, we do all that we can to prevent and be stronger than our anxiety, but it still creeps its way in. For me, one of the greatest strategies I've discovered that helps when that happens is to focus on my senses one at a time.
Often times with anxiety, we can just feel very overwhelmed, worried and overstimulated. I've found that breaking my senses down and just experiencing them one at a time really helps combat those feelings.
For example, I will close my eyes and just focus on what I'm hearing. Then after a while, I will just focus on touch: the wind on my face or my feet on the ground. Then, I keep going through my senses until my mind is quieted, and I feel more present.
This is a form of mindfulness that can really help us stay in the moment, which is crucial because most anxiety and worry are future-oriented, not present-oriented.
2. Focus on your heartbeat
When we're anxious, our heart rate tends to go up. This sensation can prompt anxiety and panic to heighten, especially if we are not conscious of it.
So, we can focus on our breath and be aware of what is happening. Once we understand that increased heart rate, shortened breath, sweating or whatever physical manifestations you face are natural side effects of anxiety, we can better control our response to it.
Breathe deeply and slowly. Focus on your heart rate and feel it go down as you control your breath. This will help calm you and strengthen you with the realization of how much control you do have.
3. Practice mindfulness
I touched on this a bit earlier, but most anxious feelings stem from future-oriented worries and possibilities. For example, I get anxious sometimes when I am driving, because I’m afraid of getting in an accident, not from the actual driving itself.
So, when those panicky (emphasis on the icky) feelings come, try to focus on the current moment—not the possibilities or potential happenings. Just the here and now. Because most of the time, there’s nothing life-threatening or daunting in the actual moment we exist in. Just let things happen when they happen.
Let more rationality and acceptance in your life, while letting go of fear and obsession.
A good friend of mine, Newt Scamander, once said, “Worrying means you suffer twice."*
4. Pray
Jesus Christ has experienced each of our lives from beginning to end because of his Atonement for each of us. He knows exactly how we feel. Exactly what we are going through. He may not always take our pain away, but he will hold us through it.
He loves us all so much. No matter what. Turn to Him. He is waiting with outstretched arms always.
I can witness that he has strengthened me to have faith and let go of fear. He's comforted me. Calmed me. Stilled me. Held me and never left me alone. He can take any bad and make it good. He is our personal healer and friend.
5. Change something
Change your environment, if you can. Go outside or go to a different room, if possible. Talk to someone. Physically “change the subject.”
I don't mean to run away from your problems. But some worries and stresses aren’t worth our time and energy.
Just move around. Change your location. Try to see things in a different light. Keep moving forward. You’re capable of so many things you don’t even know yet.
6. “Let your weakness become your strength”
Use your trial to help and be there for someone else who is struggling. Try using your anxious energy to get things done.
Stress is a normal, human response. It’s our bodies warning and motivating us. It’s built in us to help us. Try cultivating and acknowledging that energy in an attempt to accomplish, recognize and move forward.
**This TED Talk elaborates on this concept of using your stress to your advantage. It's a real game-changer.
Let your care, sensitivity and urgency be your superpower. Let your weakness be your strength.
Your struggles and pains equip you with empathy and understanding of those around you. You can help others. Let your experiences guide yourself and others. Let your struggles be your superpower.
God doesn't give us anything we can't handle. He knows our potential and sees our valiant, divine strength. We need his help to see and access that strength. We also need those around us. Seek out help. Your pain is tangible and human. You are capable and stronger than your anxiety. Stronger than your struggle.
Your battle–whether with anxiety or something else–is real. And so is your strength.
*Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. Directed by David Yates. Warner Bros., 2016.
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